photo from two years ago today, pregnant with Cam
It's been almost two months since we lost Rocky. And it's still really hard.
Sometimes it feels like it's not real that he's gone, but instead just a nightmare and he will be back with us soon. I feel crazy saying that, but it's the truth. His bed and toy basket are still sitting under my desk because I can't bear to pack them into our basement just yet. His food is still in the bottom of our pantry because it feels wrong to throw it away. It almost feels like if I do those things that it will be real that he's gone and not coming back, and I'm not ready for that quite yet. There are still times when I will turn my head around and go to say "love you Rock, we'll be back!", which is what I would do and say every time I left the house.
Camden still mentions him and says his name almost daily. We know he misses him, they were best buddies for almost two years. Ever since Rocky passed Camden has become obsessed with Paw Patrol, and for those of you who don't have kids and watch the show one of the pups names is Rocky. We got him a stuffed animal Rocky from the store and he now sleeps with it every night and carries it all over our house. Camden's 2nd birthday is next month (a post for another day) and I was going to do a Mickey Mouse theme for it, but I decided the other day to change it to do Paw Patrol. It just feels right! I love the idea of incorporating Rocky (+ the other characters from the show) into his birthday party, considering the circumstances.
I mentioned on this post that we decided to have Rocky cremated and I was very unsure about it at first, but over the past month and a half since he's been gone it's provided us with a lot of comfort. I kiss his little urn every night (which turned out beautifully) and it (he) sits right next to our bed.
I have no real point to this post, other than to get my feelings out there and say loss is difficult and comes in waves. No matter what type of loss - human or pet. Also, I would love it if maybe the take away for those reading would be to go home and love on your pets for me. And if you have kids, take some time out of your night to play or cuddle your pet a little more than usual. Love them just a little bit harder this holiday season for me.