10.26.2016

Our Sweet Rocky

Back in 2007, when Billy and I were just dating, we drove all the way to Kentucky to pick up our sweet 12 week old Rocky and take him home with us. I had wanted a pomeranian for as long as I could remember, and having him be a gift to me from Billy was just icing on the cake. We were so excited to get a dog together.

Rocky quickly fit into our family and soon became my best friend. He helped me grieve over the loss of my mom, and over the years he was always the center of our attention and was present for all of our big life events as a couple. Anyone who has a dog knows they are way more than just a dog. He was a member of our family that we would do anything for. Not to mention, he was the cutest little fluff ball out there and was the best cuddler in the world. Everyone always told us he looked like he was smiling (which we loved hearing and agreed.) He was just the happiest little dog.


He was with us when we moved into our first home, when we got engaged and married, when we had our children, and he went with us on many vacations. In fact, he has slept in bed with us for his entire 9 years of life - always sleeping as close as he could possibly get, right on our pillows. Over the past 2 years, we've watched as Camden and him developed the sweetest bond. Rocky always showed him affection and was extremely gentle and patient with him. And even just in the past few months since Grayson joined our family, he showered him and Camden both with his little kisses. There was no better joy than watching our children love him, and him love our children.

Up until this past weekend, Rocky has always been pretty healthy. This past Thursday evening his health took a turn for the worst. He vomited twice that evening, but was acting normal except for that he wasn't eating or drinking very much. We figured he may have just had an upset stomach, and that he would feel better the next morning. However, on Friday he continued to vomit pretty badly and couldn't keep any water down. We tried giving him some water and pedialyte through a syringe because we were worried he was getting dehydrated, but he ended up vomiting that up as well. That evening (he had not even been acting sick for a full 24 hours at this point) we decided to take him into an emergency pet hospital to have him looked at. Billy took him because I was putting the kids to bed. We had taken him to this hospital before so we felt comfortable bringing him there (since our vet was closed for the weekend) and knew that he needed to be seen. The doctor there did some bloodwork on him that came back with no major issues, except for being dehydrated. The doctor told us they wanted to keep him overnight, or possibly 2 nights, to give him an IV of fluids and anti-nausea medicine. They said we could give him the injections ourselves at home to keep him hydrated, but we both felt it was best that he stay there to really get better. When Billy called me and told me the news, I felt very apprehensive to leave him there. I didn't get to say goodbye to him due to the business of the evening, and I just didn't like the idea of him not being home with us but I knew that it was for the best so that he could get better.

The doctor called me at 830am Saturday morning and informed me that Rocky did well overnight and was responding good to the fluids. She said if he continued to make progress that we could pick him up that evening. At around 10am, I missed a call from the hospital and they left me a voicemail saying to call them as soon as possible. I didn't think much of it, since I had just gotten off the phone with them a little over an hour prior, but because when I tried to call them back I couldn't get through to anyone I just decided I would drive in there myself. I wanted to visit him anyways, and we were growing increasingly worried. Billy stayed home with the kids because Camden was taking a nap. When I checked into the hospital, they called me back and one of the doctors told me that he had passed away. That his heart just stopped beating.

I could not stop screaming and crying, and they had no other answers for me as to what happened. It was obvious that there was an underlying issue, but they didn't know what. I honestly can't begin to tell you what I felt in that moment. I felt like I was being punished and that it was my fault. Like because I didn't personally take him (I was always the one to take him to his other appointments) and was putting the boys to bed, he was taken from me. I know I wasn't thinking clearly, but I felt so guilty and torn apart because I didn't get to say goodbye.

I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest from being ripped into pieces. I could not believe what the doctor was telling me...they just called me and told me he was okay and we could pick him up soon, but now they were telling me he passed away an hour later? He was doing better being on the fluids...how could this be? I could not wrap my brain around it, and receiving the news alone was truly excruciating. Making the phone call to Billy was nothing but a nightmare. My parents immediately went over to our house to watch the boys, so that Billy could join me at the hospital. When Billy showed up I was pacing in the parking lot and we just ran into each others arms and continued to cry. They talked to us about cremating or burying him, but at that point we were very conflicted on what we wanted to do. Ultimately, after the most painful 24 hours, we decided on Sunday that we wanted to get a necropsy done (autopsy) and have him cremated because we felt it would help us get some closure and hopefully some answers.

On Monday morning, we decided we wanted to be the ones to take him down to OSU (to get the necropsy), instead of the hospitals transportation, because it would give us an opportunity to say goodbye and we just wanted him with us for one last day. Rocky always loved going for car rides. He loved sitting on our laps and hanging his head out the window, feeling the wind hit his face. That morning we decided to drive him (windows down) to a local park for one more visit, and we visited the old apartment complex where we lived with him. We wept over him as we said goodbye and told him how much we loved him and thanked him for being the best dog to us.

Dropping him off was one of the hardest moments of my life, but today I can honestly say we are very glad we decided to do so. We needed that extra time with him and to say goodbye. Later that afternoon, Billy mentioned wanting to bury some of his favorite toys in our backyard, so we did that together. It wasn't long after that when I was talking to my vet on the phone about everything that happened (she was consoling us and giving us her opinion), and she told me she received the results from the necropsy. Rocky had a ruptured gallbladder and it put too much pressure on his heart.

We cried and we cried, but we both felt a sense of peace come over us. We had an answer and we no longer had to wonder what had happened. Our vet explained Rocky's gallbladder was diseased, and it all just happened so suddenly considering he was only sick for a few days. Oh how we wish we had more time with him. We wish it wasn't so sudden so that we could've got him help. We wish we would've had more signs.

Honestly, we just want him back in our lives. We miss him so incredibly much. We miss him spinning in circles when we're about to give him a treat. We miss seeing him in the window waiting for us as we get home. We miss his little barks. We miss him playing with favorite pink ball. We miss taking him for walks around our neighborhood with the boys. We miss him sleeping in our bed. The night before we took him into the emergency hospital, I picked up Rocky off my pillow and put him into my arms and we fell asleep cuddling each other. I'm really thankful that I will always have that memory. Right now it's just hard being in our house because every corner we turn we are flooded with memories. We just feel incomplete. We pray that time can heal a little bit of the pain we are currently feeling. I truly appreciate all the prayers that you have sent our way.

(the night before we took him to the hospital, the last picture I took of our first baby)

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 
We will never EVER forget you, Rocky. You were a tremendous light in our lives. We love you.
Aug 13, 2007 - Oct 22, 2016

44 comments :

  1. My heart is breaking for you guys. Rocky was surely loved!

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  2. I'm so so sorry for your loss. I know losing a doggy is incredibly hard. Hugs.

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  3. my heart aches as i read this! I'm so sorry for you loss.

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  4. I'm sitting here in tears after reading your post and flooded with emotions over a similar case that happened with my family dog 9 years ago. The sudden and quickness of it is so heartbreaking and an empty feeling. Thinking of you.

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  5. Oh Katie, I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry for your loss. <3

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  6. I am so so sorry, Katie. I can not imagine the pain you are feeling right now. Rocky was the cutest little furry companion for you guys! I'm crying just thinking about that horrible day for you. I'm glad you decided to get the autopsy, I probably would have done the same. I'm glad it gives you both just a little bit of closure and that you got to spend that last moment with him in the car. He is definitely up in puppy heaven on that Rainbow Bridge!

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  7. I am a sobbing a mess reading this. My goodness, I am so very, very sorry for your family! I can't imagine!

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  8. My heart aches for you and your family Katie. I always enjoyed seeing pictures and snaps of sweet Rocky. Prayers to you all as you go through this difficult time. Losing a pet is like losing a family member, its awful. Take time to grieve and remember all the amazing times you shared with him. He was so lucky to have such an awesome momma!! Hugs!

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  9. My heart breaks for you and Billy...I just can't imagine getting that news so suddenly. Just know, Rocky knew how loved he was and that he lived a full, happy life. This is such a sweet tribute...so so sorry Katie. Thinking of you lots. XO

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  10. My heart just breaks for you. I'm sitting here crying, hating that you had to go through this, that he was taken too soon. I know that pain and the blaming yourself. He was the sweetest and happiest little dog. He was so lucky to have you & Billy for his parents. It's been 3 years for Howie and I still get flooded with memories and miss him so much, but I remember the good times and am so thankful all the photos and memories of the good times we had together. Hold on to those and remember how much he loved you, Billy, and the boys!

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  11. I am so unbelievably saddened and sorry for your loss, katie. It just does not seem fair to lose your baby so quickly and unexpectedly. As a fur mom myself, I just cannot imagine the pain that you must be feeling. I am literally crying at my desk at work right now after reading this. I can only hope that the pain passes with time and leaves just the happy memories. Thank you for writing this and bringing a bit of closure to yourselves and all of us. I haven't stopped thinking about you and Rocky since you posted the IG the other day, so thank you for writing this (I'm sure it wasn't easy).

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  12. My heart is breaking for you. Literally in tears even imagining what you are going through. Our dog is our baby too, so I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. You gave Rocky such a great life full of love, and I know you'll see him again some day <3

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  13. Hugs friend. I got very choked up seeing his sweet face in your pics today. You know my thoughts and prayers are with you!

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  14. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. The loss of a pet is heartbreaking, I still think of my Buddy all the time and it's been 6 years. Dogs become such a huge part of our lives. Rocky definitely lived a great life and he was so lucky to have you guys.

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  15. Oh my goodness - this just breaks my heart as I sit here balling at my keyboard. So incredibly sorry for your loss - I love seeing Rocky in all of your pics over the years and love how you always took him with you everywhere. What a sweet boy! Praying for you friend!

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  16. I'm sitting here hysterically crying. I'm so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts, prayers, and love are with you all.

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  17. And now I'm crying at my desk at work. I'm so sorry. Glad you got to say goodbye and get some peace. He was a well loved pup and lucky to have had such a great family!!

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  18. I have been reading your blog for a little while and when I saw the title of today's post, my heart dropped. I am so very sorry for your sudden loss, losing a family pet is never easy. sending positive thoughts your way.

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  19. My doggy mommy heart is just breaking for you right now Katie. I'm so incredibly sorry that Rocky is gone. He was so lucky to have you as his family, just as you all were lucky. You will see him again! <3

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  20. I am SO SORRY Katie. We have two dogs right now and have lost dogs in the past, and it is one of the hardest things to go through. Our last dog, Alex, unfortunately passed away of a brain tumor when he was only 7, and it was devastating to lose a dog at what we felt was too young of an age. It sounds as though you did everything you could. I'll keep you guys in my prayers!

    p.s. Just curious, but was he at MedVet?

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  21. I can't even imagine! I'm so sorry for your loss! I'll be thinking of you guys.

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  22. How heartbreaking! This was way to sudden and unexpected. Prayers for you as you miss your adorable, darling Rocky. I'm so deeply sorry!

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  23. Oh girl, I am just so so sorry. I can't even imagine what you're going through. Pets truly become part of the family and it's so unfair that they can't stay longer. Praying praying praying for you. Xoxo

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  24. I am so very sorry. Prayers for you and your family.

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  25. I am so sorry for your loss. I'm crying with you because I know how much he meant to you. Sending love and prayer your way.

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  26. Katie! I was so saddened to see this on your Instagram! I always say to people who lose a pet that the only fault of a dog - is no matter how long they live. It is never enough. I am so sorry for your loss, I know the pain all too well. It's raw and even years after losing our beloved family pet my heart still twangs each time I think of her. I hugged Finn extra long this morning. I'll be thinking of you guys.

    Also I highly recommend you read "A Dog's Purpose" it will make you laugh, smile and feel a smidgen better. Promise! xoxo

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  27. I am so so sorry for your loss- losing a pet is the absolutely most heart wrenching thing in the world. How horrible and I'm so sorry you had to go through that, so unexpected. He knew how much you loved him.

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  28. Oh no, I am so sorry Katie! He was clearly such a special pup to you. *hugs*

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  29. Oh, just sitting here bawling my eyes out in my car. Thinking of you all and keeping you in my prayers. Losing pups is so hard. Dogs are just the best. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  30. I am so very sorry for the sudden loss of your sweet little furbaby, Rocky! :( He was the cutest little guy and I enjoyed seeing how big of a part of your family he was throughout the years. I am sure he brought so much joy to all who knew him and loved him!

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  31. Katie, I am so sorry to hear about Rocky. My heart absolutely breaks for you. I put myself in your position and I just can't image how much you are hurting right now. Dogs are very much a huge part of our families. I know our dog Charlie is and I know Rocky was a big part of yours. I am praying for you friend, XOXO.

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  32. So sorry to hear this, Katie. Glad you got your last little road trip and some answers, but so sad that you guys are in so much pain. Hugs to your family.

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  33. And now I am a sobbing mess. My sweet boy Oliver died suddenly almost two years ago (11/9/14) and there are still days or certain things that will catch me off guard and cause a flood of tears. Every time it snows, I remember how much he loved to make snow angels. And every Christmas and birthday I recall how he LOVED to open presents. I was out of town for work for several days the week that he passed and I will always feel so guilty that I wasn't with him for those last days. Maybe if I had been I would have seen that something was wrong. He was already sick when I picked him up, I just didn't know it yet. There is nothing easy about losing your first baby. I sat down shortly after he passed and wrote down all of the things that made him so uniquely Oliver and I love looking back at that note on my phone and remembering all those funny little quirks.

    I'd never heard of the Rainbow Bridge. I'm going to picture him there from now on, waiting for me. Hopefully he's playing with Rocky and showing him the ropes.

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  34. I am in tears as I'm reading this and know firsthand your pain. Our sweet Skyler left us five years ago, and though the pain subsides, we still miss him dearly. Our little fur animals are truly family and leave an imprint on our hearts. So sorry you are going through this.

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  35. I am so sorry my friend, my heart is broken for you all. Rocky was just the most precious pup - and you have so many amazing memories together x

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  36. I'm so sorry for your loss. A few years ago my dog passed away on his own and fairly unexpectedly. Usually you have to make the decision to put an animal down, which is also difficult, but it's weird when they are just taken from you without warning. They really do become such an important member of them family.

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  37. I am sooooo sorry, Katie! I know how much Rocky meant to you and your family! I'm so sorry that it happened so quickly and so unexpectedly. :(

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  38. So sorry for your loss! I'm glad you have so many wonderful memories and pictures with him and that he was a part of your boys' lives as well. Thinking of you and your family!

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  39. Wow Katie... I am so sorry. I've read your blog for a while now, and it was OBVIOUS how important Rocky was to your family. I can't even read this without crying.

    Praying for y'all's healing and for precious Rocky!

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  40. Oh how my heart breaks for you. I'm in constant fear of something happening to my little guy. Take gentle care!

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  41. So sorry, Katie! I'm thinking of you and sending hugs your way! :(

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  42. Animals The best friends of mankind, we should treat them well.
    http://josecurtain.microblr.com/

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  43. Katie, I hurt for you and your family. I think the unexpectedness is the ABSOLUTE worst. This happened with one of our family dogs. This post brought a huge lump in my throats and big tears in my eyes. I am so so sorry for y'all. Just know that Rocky is at his all time best romping the Rainbow Bridge.

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  44. Oh Katie this was so sad to read I'm so sorry for your loss nothing can replace these little family members who give us so much comfort throughout our lives. Love & hugs

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