8.02.2011

"Did I Do That?" {Volume 2}


The time has come.

Volume 2 of "Did I Do That?"

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Obviously, I'm a big fan of Steve-o here in the suspenders.

I know you can HARDLY contain your excitement right now, but let's try to hold it together for a minute so we can share some laughs. at my expense.

*Vol 2.* didn't take very long to create because...
A. Let's face it..I have so many embarassing stories in my past that I could probably have 10 volumes and
B. You guys clearly got a kick out of making fun of me the first time, because it was my most popular post to date.

I must say upfront that I put my Dad through much more than necessary in high school. I thought I could get away with everything, when in reality..I got away with nothing.
 There were countless nights and weekends spent with: NO CAR. NO PHONE. NO COMPUTER {OMG...like, NO AOL OR AIM?! How would I flirt or chat with my girly girls? My life was over as I knew it.}

He knew those 3 things were my lifelines.
Boy, oh boy, do I NOT miss getting grounded.

Nevertheless, he was the best Dad I could ask for, and I still need to make it up to him for putting him through so much stress.


With that being said---LEEEET'S GO.

#1. Cedar Point MADNESS. My personal favorite.

This is hilarious, yet so embarassing, but too great to NOT share.

Picture it (I also confess I use this line circa The Golden Girls era: think Sophia with her story telling): Me, Billy, my best friend Lindsay, and a guy she was talking to at the time went to Cedar Point for the day {aka theme park full of rollercoasters}. We just arrived and were waiting in line for the Raptor...our first ride of the day. We waited almost 2 hours to get on this damn ride. Growing up, I never got sick on rollercoasters, until around the time I went to high school, and then things went south. My stomach switched on me and decided that I am just not cut out for them. 

Thinking that I was in college now and clearly more mature - I thought my body would be more mature and over this stage and I'd be fine riding rollercoasters. So...we get on the Raptor and much to my surprise within 30 seconds of being on the ride, I feel the need to hurl. I'm a lady and wanted to try to make it to the restroom at the very least, so I decided to hold it in. The entire ride my eyes were rolling in the back of my head and I was counting down the seconds until the monster ride was over. You know how you have to wait and watch the carts in front of you unload before you can get off? That's when I realized I could NOT hold it in any longer. I looked to my left: there was Lindsay. I looked to my right: there was Billy. Who was about to get thrown up on? I asked myself. After much deliberation (approximately .3 seconds), I decided to just subject myself to it and throw up on myself. I was wearing white shorts. Do you know what throw up on white shorts looks like? Not pretty my friends, especially when it seeps down to the back of my white shorts.

The next events went like this: The man working the speaker to the rollercoaster ride got on the speaker and said "WE'VE GOT A PUKER!!!" and they had to clean off my puke from my seat. Another worker chose to take it upon himself to HOSE ME DOWN. Gee, thanks. in front of hundreds of people waiting in line. NOT EMBARASSING, AT ALL. But hey, atleast the puke was off my legs and shorts.




I spent the rest of the day curled up in the bathroom or on the park bench.
Fact: Money spent at the amusement park can't buy you class.



#2. Celeb sighting..or not so much.

There's not much of a story to this one. I partied with Don Vito (and some other Jackass peeps) before and thought I was the bomb.com.


and as if it couldn't get ANY BETTER

I went and did this...


BAM.
He's a real looker, isn't he?


#3. The Oxygen Tank.





I worked at a retirement home in high school for a couple years with some of my very best friends and we didn't really take the job all too seriously. This may be due to the fact that we saw elderly men come to the dinner hall with just their briefs on, obviously forgetting they needed to wear pants too. Anywho, I was serving one table dinner and accidentally stepped on a sweet man's oxygen tank. I didn't realize and continued standing in the same spot fixing up the table and other sorts, then I looked to see him holding his throat gasping for air.

Man, did I feel like absolute shit (typically I don't cuss on my blog, but this circumstance is appropriate.) There's no feeling like looking down at an innocent man who I just pretty much suffocated..I felt awful.  It does make for a good story now, I guess.
PS-No major problems with this man's health occured by me doing this. thank the Lord.

**Another side story from the retirement home? One of my friends and coworker at the time definitely dropped a butter knife on a ladies head. She was one of the smallest ladies I've ever seen in my life, barely seeing above the table, and looked up at him and said, "am I bleeeeeding?" in the cutest/saddest voice ever. How tragic.

***Okay, ONE more retirement home story. You'll like this. I became really close with a table of ladies who were HILARIOUS..one night they took my cell phone out of my work uniform's pocket and CALLED MY DAD and told him "your daughter is a little shit!" <---clearly they were kidding, because everyone knows I'm pretty much an angel here on earth.

Too funny. Dad had NO idea who was calling his daughter a little shit, but I'm sure he agreed & it made for a few laughs.


#4. Driving with no license.


I've found that a lot of my "Did I do that?" moments happen either in a vehicle or with another vehicle. Here's a good one for you.

I thought I was a total bada$$ in high school and thought I could take my precious car our for a spin to my homies house (yes, the same Jeep that I backed out of our garage through our garage door) with JUST MY TEMPS after school one day without my Dad noticing.

The plan was executed perfectly......until the ride home. I was on my way home, speeding no doubt, to try and get home before my Dad got off work at 5 and then IT HAPPENED: MY DAD WAS IN THE CAR NEXT TO ME IN THE OTHER LANE!!!!!

B-U-S-T-E-D. Driving with no license. Me = Deer in headlights.





#5. Teeny Bopper boy crazy car wreck.

Remember those retirement home stories from above? This isn't one, but it's related.



One day, my girlfriend Rachel and I were riding in her SWEET Neon {had to include a pic of it} to head to the nursing home for work when we spotted some teenage Justin Timberlake wanna-be's that we just had to check out from head to toe. They were actualy standing on the side of the road because they just got in a car accident.

:::Who are THOSE hotties??:::

Well, they weren't the only ones about to be in an accident. We got in a car accident (Rachel was driving-so I consider this only HALF my fault) from LOOKING at them during their car accident. Classy individuals I tell ya. I had to run from the accident scene to our work to let them know why we were late. Good times.



#6. High school parties gone wrong...or GOOD?


It seemed like everytime my Dad went out of town in high school, I had a party. Not so nice of me. This time was legendary. We were living in a townhome while our house was being built and there were boxes everywhere in our 2 garages. This was a problem because we clearly needed a spot for the beer pong table and for the KEG to go. My Dad is super smart and clean and I knew he'd notice if I moved the boxes, so I decided to grab my bff Lindsay to help me write down EXACTLY where each box was. how it was facing in the garage. and what was in it. THIS WOULD FOR SURE FOOL HIM.

We moved all the boxes out of the garage (I don't even know where we put them..) and the keg and table for beer pong went in. The party was a solid 9 out of 10. Place was packed and people were having a blast. That is until my friend Rachel (mentioned above) came running at me saying the cops were at the door. No biggie, she slammed the door in their face when they asked for the owner of the house. Not suspicious at all. Everyone freaked out that the cops showed up so everyone fleed out our back garages. Our close group of friends stayed over still and spent the night. I woke up that morning to find my digital camera in the dishwasher, a doorknob broke on our bathroom, and plants destroyed. Oy vey. We put the boxes back JUST like we found them and I still thought I could cover this up and my Dad would never know I had a party.

He came home the next day and literally within 2 hours of being home, I had a knock at my bedroom door. He was holding a flip flop {singular}...my bff Lindsay's flip flop to be exact. He said, "You are trying to tell me you didn't have a party, but I find a FLIP FLOP under my BED?!" .....at that point I was thinking, "DAMN YOU LINDSAY..HOW DO YOU LEAVE MY PLACE WITH ONLY 1 SHOE?!?!" I made up some white lie of some sort. Then, it got worse...I forgot to DELETE the voicemail from the POLICE DEPARTMENT on our answering machine. Ohh, and then he found my receipt for the keg we bought.

....I was so smooth. I know you are thinking the same thing.




#7. I was on the Dean's list my final year in college.



...ok, so WHAT?! I'm allowed to brag after just putting myself to shame for the last 7 things. Gimme a break. This is true!



So, how did my Volume 2 stories match up with my Volume 1 stories?

Do you all think I'm legit crazy by now?

Which story is your favorite? Have you done anything similar?

PS-Did anyone ever drink your parents vodka and fill the bottle back up with water? or was this just me?....

I think everyone needs to go and confess...this is my 2nd round and you still haven't done round 1.

xo.


31 comments :

  1. i was totally pulled over for speeding after i decided i could drive my friends car around...with no license...not even a permit. busted!

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  2. oh my gosh, please next time you post stories like these, title it "DO NOT READ AT WORK"..i am laughing out loud and i'm pretty sure my boss thinks i'm crazy. by far my favorite post of yours. :)

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  3. And also, I loved Family Matters so much I dressed up as Steve's cousin, Myrtle Urkle, one year for Halloween. :)

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  4. I had a party when my parents were out of town. I usually had a few people over and cleaned up really well so I never got in trouble. But of course there was this one time when my parents went to a christmas party an hour a way and I wasn't so slick. My girlfriends and I tried to hide our cars in the garage that I wasn't allowed to park in ever. I ended up hitting the garage, taking of siding, and smashing in my passengers side. I still thought it was a good idea to have the party. We then made jello shots and call over people. Everything was going great until my friend decided not to answer her phone call from her mom. Her mom got concerned and came over-yes to the party! She was good friend's with my parents. She came in busted up the party, told everyone to go home, and embarrassed the crap out of my friend and I. So I cleaned up the house and there were no signs of the party. I thought I was in the clear. LOL! My parents came home and didn't notice anything but the garage. I had to tell them about that part. My friend's mom gives me a call and tells me that if I don't confess she will call and tell them anyway and it was best if I told them first. So I had to tell my parents what happened and then they got a phone call with more details from the mom. I was grounded for a LONG time after that one. I thought I was so smooth...when really I was just a little trouble maker.

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  5. Haha! Katie! I loved every single minute of this! If you ever stop "Did I do that" I will yell at you! It's too good! Honestly, sometimes I think we are the same person, because half those things have happened to me. Love it. The party story, killer. I did that once. However, my mistake was, I left beer in the fridge... my parents don't drink beer. Like, everything was perfect, but I leave FREAKING BEER. Oh well. I was the baby child, I "did no harm" haha!

    Ps. I miss you. Hope you have fun at GGD's tonight. While you are rocking out... I will be in yoga, without you (sigh...).

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  6. You crack me up...lmao!!!!
    And I thought I was bad....
    Jen

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  7. This made me laugh my tush off! The Cedar Point one is definitely my favorite but the nursing home ones are hilarious!
    I'm such a klutz that my list of "you did what?!" stories could go on forever....

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  8. The NEON!!!!!! Wow!! Good times in that P.O.S.!! Oh how I miss Bindy too. She made work so much fun! All of us that worked there should go in together some weekend, I bet Patsy and Todd are still there. Loved all your classic stories. Have fun @ the concert tonight.

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  9. I can only think of 2 things. Clearly you weren't afraid of your punishment if you got caught lol or your dad's punishments for your partying lol weren't reallly all that tough on you. I was to afraid of my dad growing up. not like afraid he'd hurt me, but afraid of the consequences. He was someone you did NOT mess with.

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  10. hahah these are too funny! my brothers and I threw a party at my mom's house in high school and thought we were going to get away with....until my mom came home and found an imprint from the Corona box on the dining room table. Oops!

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  11. Oh my gawd, I swear we have waaaayyyy too much in common! I, too, got in a wreck (only I was driving) because I was looking at another wreck...my first wreck, had my car for all of 2 months...awesome! I also got busted driving without a license....they checked the mileage...so sneaky!! And the best part, I had THE party of my high school career....freshman year, parents in St. John...4 different schools, cops came 5 times, broken banister, bathroom ceiling covered with spit balls, another bathroom toilet clogged with some not so good things, dad's back medicine disappeared, parent's liquor that we hid in the attic was found and drank, desk phone found in the bushes weeks later, dog bowl full of beer...as well as washing machine, dog's collar missing...and so much more. We didn't even try to lie....we called them in St. John to warn them....told them "we" called the cops....but it was an awesome par-tay!! :)

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  12. Oohh my word! This made me laugh out loud (literally). Thanks for sharing!

    I have a similar car wreck story.. Well sort of. It's embarrassing nonetheless.. My senior year of high school, most of the seniors got out at 2:00, well we were in the parking lot getting ready to leave. One of my friends was in her car (already backed out of her parking space) talking to someone out the window and she hit the gas to leave, but her car was still in reverse and she backed into one of the guys in our glass. She was super embarrassed, so I, being the good friend that I am, decided to pull my car up next to hers to see if she was ok.... Well somehow I managed to hit her car as I parked next to her. Ugh. It's bringing back nightmares just thinking of this moment! haha

    **Disclaimer... I was not going fast enough for it to actually do any damage to either of our cars. Thanks goodness! :)

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  13. My vote will have to go for the PUKER!! That is just tooo hilarious! And how sweet of you to puke on yourself instead of putting your friends through misery!! I'd surely do the same...(unless it was my cousin who thinks its hilarious to let one go in the car, turn the heat on and child lock the windows! I might puke on him to get him back for all those years of torture ;)
    I believe you have a dull-free life, Katie!! ;)

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  14. My vote will have to go for the PUKER!! That is just tooo hilarious! And how sweet of you to puke on yourself instead of putting your friends through misery!! I'd surely do the same...(unless it was my cousin who thinks its hilarious to let one go in the car, turn the heat on and child lock the windows! I might puke on him to get him back for all those years of torture ;)
    I believe you have a dull-free life, Katie!! ;)

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  15. the party has to be my favorite...I had a similar story except instead of a call on the voice mail...i had the pleasure of having a story about it in the local newspaper... (small town, slow news day). At least my parents were kind of okay with it and I didn't get in too much trouble! haha

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  16. I love these posts! They are so hilarious! I may have to give it a whirl! I love this beer keg party.. completely busted!

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  17. These stories are awesome! Keep them coming!

    Becca
    http://blondeslogic.blogspot.com

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  18. I was grounded for an entire summer from all 3 of the lifelines...SHOOT.ME.

    Also, one time my mom found out that I was skipping lunch and proceeded to take my car away and DRIVE me to school for 2 weeks. Biatch.

    As for stealing the parent's liquor...I think they pulled some kind of cruel joke on me and my friend Julie. We went to take a shot of vodka and as it went down realized it was pepper flavored vodka (usually used for bloody mary's). Needless to say it was AWFUL and we never did it again...ha. Jerks.

    Oh man...can you imagine what our kids are going to be like!!??

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  19. Hahaha, I definitely needed to read something as funny as this. I saw Don Vito out at a club one year during Spring Break and girls were all around him so I'm sure it's fine that you took some pictures with him, haha :) I must admit, the roller coaster story is pretty epic.

    BUT, the stories that get you grounded are always the worst in my opinion. The strangers that saw you at Cedar Point you'll never have to see again, but I always felt ridiculously embarrassed when my parents found out about something I was trying to be slick about! Seriously love these posts :) You're too funny!

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  20. OMG! Seriously! You crack me up! :) I just love these posts! I need a post for Friday... maybe I'll try to come up with some of my ridiculous things! LOL We'll see how I do!

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  21. Hahahah!!! Katie- this just made me laugh soo hard! I love it!!!!! :) :) :)

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  22. these are absolutely hilarious! i also threw up in a public place sans trash can/restroom...but it was a county fair so the environment was already sub par in the classy department. the next year i totaled my car after having my license for one day...major fail. haha oh well, at least we can laugh about these things now!

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  23. How funny! Love the one about seeing your dad at the red light and him finding the flip flop!

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  24. Hahaha, so I loved all of these..great post and great job making a fool of yourself :) Kidding. I am doing a post kinda similar tomorrow..thank you for the inspiration to point out all of my flaws!

    Love-Erin

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  25. Oh my gosh, these stories crack me up… mainly because I can TOTALLY relate. I’ve done some pretty terrible things growing up and looking back now I feel mortified. Like, what the hump was I thinking?! I once ordered a pizza and sent it to my friends house who I was in a fight with only to have her mom send it BACK to my house and since I was home alone (babysitting or something), I had NO money. Talk about embarrassment, and the ass-whipping I got from my parents? Fun times, let me tell ya.
    When it comes to driving “illegally” I never got “busted” per say, but I was at home alone one day (either playing hookey or legitimately sick), and I was taking a shower. In the midst of my lather, rinse, repeat sesh, the power went out. It scared the living ish out of me (not literally, obvs) so I stumbled out of the shower, threw on some clothes (still dripping wet, mind you), found the keys to one of our many vehicles, packed up our recently adopted puppy and drove myself up to my old elementary school where my mom was working… at the mere age of 13 or 14. Needless to say, my mom was less than thrilled to see me show up DRIVING, let alone with suds seeping out of my clothes.
    Thanks for the laughs girl!

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  26. Ahaha, so funny!!! Thanks for not holding back and sharing!

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  27. These stories are hilarious!!! I loved reading! Seriously, such a funny idea for posts!

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  28. I definitely did the fill the vodka bottle up with water trick--on the regular. My brother also went straight through the garage door, except from the other side. While trying to drive forward out of the driveway he instead floored it backwards--in my car. Sure, he might have been fourteen but still...

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  29. oh my goodness! hilarious!
    i have some stories myself... i think you just inspired my next post lady!

    :)

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  30. hahaha Katie you are hilarious! I think you should make this a link up every now and then or something! It would be so fun! I can think of some pretty good stories to share! maybe not any as good as yours though! ;)

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  31. These are hilarious! Thank you for making my night. :) Used to pull the water/vodka trick until the parents got smart and started putting it in the freezer......

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