4.07.2016

Thoughts About Having A Second Baby

picture solely for the fact that I can't have a picture-less post and he's so handsome that it kills me inside...

Now that I'm officially past the halfway mark (25 weeks on Tues!), I'm thinking a lot more often about how we'll soon be transitioning from 1 kid to 2...how Camden won't be our only anymore...and how it'll all go. I think those are pretty normal thoughts and I'm sure all mothers wonder about these things when expanding their family...right?

Even though concerns and worries enter my head, that doesn't mean we are second guessing having another at all by any means. Baby #2 is so loved already and we want lots of kids! By lots I mean...one more, ha. I absolutely love being a mother...more so than I could have ever imagined. And Billy as a father is just the best thing in the world to witness. Camden has brought us so much joy, love, and happiness that we can't wait to expand our family further and to love on another itty bitty! We both agree and stand by the fact that despite going through what we know will be a big transition, we know we are giving Camden the very BEST gift of all - a sibling.

That being said, here's a little bit of the madness currently going through my head on a day to day basis...

+Will I ever sleep again?! This is probably my biggest concern, honestly. I am not one of those people who can function on little sleep...I turn into a hot (except not so much), irritable mess. With Camden, we really had the time to work on a solid routine + his sleeping habits (never had to do CIO), and fortunately ever since he was 8/9 weeks old he has been an amazing sleeper. He'll even hang out in his crib in the morning now without needing us to come get him - he just really likes his crib! But this baby...will we be as lucky? Is it possible to have two kids that are great sleepers?! Maybe this baby won't be a good sleeper and I will forever have bags under my eyes. On the bright side, at least Camden is a great sleeper and we've had our rest since he was really little.

+Breastfeeding/Pumping...was hard/demanding enough with no other kids at home, but now I have a toddler running around! How in the BEEP is this gonna work?! How will I keep Cam occupied long enough to nurse, without burning the house down? I remember last month there was one day that I literally typed into Google, "how to breastfeed new baby with toddler in the home" I do plan to give it my best effort, but this time around I've told myself if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and that's that. A baby that is fed and a mother that isn't stressed out to the max is the most important thing.

+Mom guilt...OH THE GUILT! I get tears in my eyes sometimes thinking about Camden not being the baby anymore. I worry about him not feeling all of my love when his little brother comes and me being less available for him. I don't want him to feel like I've abandoned him and that I love him any less.

+The whole, how can I love another baby as much as my first? I really struggle with this. Cam is the apple of my eye and has been the absolute happiest...cutest...best baby that it's really hard to think about how I will love this baby the same and give them both the love they need equally.

+Labor and postpartum...I was fortunate to not have any labor complications with Cam, but I do pray all the time that the same goes for this baby. I'm not against c sections, but I just really don't want to have one. I loved having a vaginal delivery (and am so proud of it!)...you know, besides all the bleeding/pain that comes afterwards. I also wonder if I will need pitocin again. It would be so nice to experience a labor without it. Lastly, I worry about my emotions postpartum and how I will adjust to everything.

+Will I ever get time to myself again? It's not even that I need a break, ya'll! My brain does! I'm constantly thinking about Camden, even when I'm not with him. How will my brain even make space to worry about a second child? I might just lose whatever sanity I had left...ha.

+Can I get them to have the same nap times? PLEASE SAY YES!! In an ideal world, this would obviously be best case scenario, but I'm not getting my hopes up (or maybe I am? ha) 

...and they wonder why pregnant women act cray?! Those are some heavy thoughts and I'm sure I'll have more that pop up in these next few months! Oy vey! One thing I don't worry about, though, is raising another little boy. I just love me some little boys. I can thank Cam for that one. I'm so excited to see all their similarities and differences!

If you've already been through this transition from 1 to 2 kids, I would love to hear your input / what you found worked best for you in those beginning days as everyone is adjusting!

14 comments :

  1. oh my gosh this post made me smile because I felt all of these things during pregnancy #2! Now that I have a 3 year old and 15 month old I am happy to say that we survived! hahah! ok so here is my advice:
    Sleep...YES! you will sleep!! Do exactly what you did with Cam. So many people told me I was so lucky with my first bc he slept so well and watch out, my second won't! Well he slept just as well as my first and absolutely loves his crib. It's all about the routine!
    Breastfeeding: I went with bumping for the second. I made it work for 3 months, built up a stock and supplemented some. Less stress on me. Do what works for you!!
    NAPTIME: My boys take a nap at the same time and it is key in my sanity! ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE. It was nice when Brody still took a morning nap because they is when I got one on one time with Cooper. And now that they both take one long nap it is amazing!!!
    And like I said before..You will be amazed how much your heart will open to number 2 and seeing Cam love his little brother will make it even better!!!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can certainly say you are not alone! All of these thoughts and more run through my head appx 700 times a day! It's crazy how you can be SO EXCITED and SO TERRIFIED about something all at the same time. Somehow mamas make it work and pull it off all the time and I'm sure you and are no different, but it's definitely a HUGE change! I'll let you know how it is in a couple of weeks. :) XO.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Katie... We are on the same page sister! I feel all these emotions! The bf things and sleeping scares me the most! I also really want it to work out this time bc thinking about pumping trying to watch/take care of a nb and a toddler just doesn't seem like it would work?! And I still can't imagine how I will love this 2nd babay as much as Cam, but everyone tells me that your heart just grows!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bless. I hope you have a good sleeper again! Having a non-sleeper and hard as hell baby is the hardest thing I have ever endured and still enduring 2 years in...hence...one of the reasons he will be an only child. ha. :) I think just like the first everyone adapts fairly well even though I am sure it will be hard. I have read a lot that going from zero to 1 is way harder than going from 1 to 2. Who knows, but you don't have any other choice than to figure it all out! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. You got this lady! I'm not yet preggo with #2, but these are things holding me back from making that leap, so I think you are totally NORMAL! You're an amazing Mom. Don't doubt yourself. You figured it out once, and you will again. :) XO

    ReplyDelete
  6. you got this mama !! My boys a re 17 months apart I successfully exclusive breastfeed my newborn and had special box or activity for my toddler and yes nap time is the same time for them the newborn was on my toddler schedule , and you take time for yourself when you need it that is so important. My boys are almost 3 and 2 and it's seriously been amazing the bond and love they have is so worth it❤️

    ReplyDelete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am constantly wondering how I'll love another as much as I love Beckett! I know it's possible but I just can't even fathom it right now. I love him SO much and I don't want him to think that's changed once #2 arrives. Just the mere thought of him not being my only baby anymore makes my heart hurt and makes me tear up. I just had a friend have her 2nd (hers are 18 months apart, closer than mine will be) and the night before she went in I was in tears thinking of how hard it's going to be to leave him knowing it's the last time he'll be an only child (literally in tears right now thinking about it). Of course he'll be clueless and that kind of breaks my heart too. So many emotions!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Going from one to two really wasn't nearly as bad as I thought! You are so much more prepared than you think so it's not as nerve wracking. Especially when your new babe ends up in the NICU for a week. My first turned 2 8 days after my youngest was born. He has been the absolute best big brother. Camden will do great!! Having two close in age, especially brothers is amazing. I love seeing the bond my boys have after only 5 short months! So excited for you!

    ReplyDelete
  10. All of your thoughts are VALID! And normal!!!

    -Sleep... YES! I was so much better about getting #2 on a schedule and sleeping through the night, by 12 weeks I was getting sleepp yay
    -Pumping... I only lasted 6 weeks pumping for Lucy. It was near impossible to pump with a 1 year old running around so I EBF and gave her a formula bottle once a day. Life saver!
    -Mom guilt...itll always be there but Cam is so happy and joyful! A product of your parenting!
    -You will LOVE this baby boy so so much it's unreal. And your boys together... EXPLOSION. You'll wonder how un fun it was to have 1 kiddo.
    -Nap time... yes! Moms on call!

    Youll do so great!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Although we are not pregnant again and want another very soon this spoke to me because they are things I think about all.the.time. when considering expanding our family. I know you may not find the answers, but just be confident in the amazing mom you are because of that precious face at the top of this post! He has taught you so much that will only make you an even better parent for baby boy #2 than you already are. I'm excited to watch your journey so you can show me it is possible to do all these things with another little :) You will do great no matter what and Camden will be the best big brother! Gosh he's cute!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I had similar feelings when I was pregnant with my second! ( Fun fact: she is just a couple weeks younger than your son :) and I am a fellow central Ohioan. ) I did my best not to worry about labor and delivery, you have done it once and will easily do it all again! The best thing I did right after she was born was that I still took my son to the babysitters a couple of days a week. It was great that he could contiune with his normal routine, yet still be home around his sister. Plus, this gave my daughter and I the bonding time we needed. Everything will fall into place and you will easily love this little guy as much as your first! Even when they have completely different personalities like mine do. All of your instincts kick in again with the second and I found it easier to know what she needed much easier this time around. You will do great! PS: it was so fun to follow along with your first pregnancy since I was right there with ya!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow, did this post speak to me. My son is 13 months old and talk about having #2 is in the works. He was 9 weeks early so the thought of possibly having another preemie with a toddler straight up scares me. I'm so excited to have another baby but everything you wrote about is what I'm constantly thinking. Thank you so much for expressing your thoughts. I love your blog and have been following for a few years now! -Kate, Cincinnati.

    ReplyDelete

Leave some love: