picture solely for the fact that I can't have a picture-less post and he's so handsome that it kills me inside...
Now that I'm officially past the halfway mark (25 weeks on Tues!), I'm thinking a lot more often about how we'll soon be transitioning from 1 kid to 2...how Camden won't be our only anymore...and how it'll all go. I think those are pretty normal thoughts and I'm sure all mothers wonder about these things when expanding their family...right?
Even though concerns and worries enter my head, that doesn't mean we are second guessing having another at all by any means. Baby #2 is so loved already and we want lots of kids! By lots I mean...one more, ha. I absolutely love being a mother...more so than I could have ever imagined. And Billy as a father is just the best thing in the world to witness. Camden has brought us so much joy, love, and happiness that we can't wait to expand our family further and to love on another itty bitty! We both agree and stand by the fact that despite going through what we know will be a big transition, we know we are giving Camden the very BEST gift of all - a sibling.
That being said, here's a little bit of the madness currently going through my head on a day to day basis...
+Will I ever sleep again?! This is probably my biggest concern, honestly. I am not one of those people who can function on little sleep...I turn into a hot (except not so much), irritable mess. With Camden, we really had the time to work on a solid routine + his sleeping habits (never had to do CIO), and fortunately ever since he was 8/9 weeks old he has been an amazing sleeper. He'll even hang out in his crib in the morning now without needing us to come get him - he just really likes his crib! But this baby...will we be as lucky? Is it possible to have two kids that are great sleepers?! Maybe this baby won't be a good sleeper and I will forever have bags under my eyes. On the bright side, at least Camden is a great sleeper and we've had our rest since he was really little.
+Breastfeeding/Pumping...was hard/demanding enough with no other kids at home, but now I have a toddler running around! How in the BEEP is this gonna work?! How will I keep Cam occupied long enough to nurse, without burning the house down? I remember last month there was one day that I literally typed into Google, "how to breastfeed new baby with toddler in the home" I do plan to give it my best effort, but this time around I've told myself if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and that's that. A baby that is fed and a mother that isn't stressed out to the max is the most important thing.
+Mom guilt...OH THE GUILT! I get tears in my eyes sometimes thinking about Camden not being the baby anymore. I worry about him not feeling all of my love when his little brother comes and me being less available for him. I don't want him to feel like I've abandoned him and that I love him any less.
+The whole, how can I love another baby as much as my first? I really struggle with this. Cam is the apple of my eye and has been the absolute happiest...cutest...best baby that it's really hard to think about how I will love this baby the same and give them both the love they need equally.
+Labor and postpartum...I was fortunate to not have any labor complications with Cam, but I do pray all the time that the same goes for this baby. I'm not against c sections, but I just really don't want to have one. I loved having a vaginal delivery (and am so proud of it!)...you know, besides all the bleeding/pain that comes afterwards. I also wonder if I will need pitocin again. It would be so nice to experience a labor without it. Lastly, I worry about my emotions postpartum and how I will adjust to everything.
+Will I ever get time to myself again? It's not even that I need a break, ya'll! My brain does! I'm constantly thinking about Camden, even when I'm not with him. How will my brain even make space to worry about a second child? I might just lose whatever sanity I had left...ha.
+Can I get them to have the same nap times? PLEASE SAY YES!! In an ideal world, this would obviously be best case scenario, but I'm not getting my hopes up (or maybe I am? ha)
...and they wonder why pregnant women act cray?! Those are some heavy thoughts and I'm sure I'll have more that pop up in these next few months! Oy vey! One thing I don't worry about, though, is raising another little boy. I just love me some little boys. I can thank Cam for that one. I'm so excited to see all their similarities and differences!
If you've already been through this transition from 1 to 2 kids, I would love to hear your input / what you found worked best for you in those beginning days as everyone is adjusting!